Recipe for a British TV Science Documentary

  • Time-lapse footage of the natural world: the sun rising, ice melting, trees moving in the wind.
  • Ponderous voice-over introduction with vague description of the topic at hand.
  • Footage of people walking around the streets of a city.
  • Scientist in the street, staring silently into the camera.
  • Scientist in the street, posing awkwardly and staring into the distance.
  • Scientist sitting in an incongruous environment.
  • Footage of scientist with gimmicky jump-cuts, split-screens and focus shifts.
  • Ponderous voice-over assuring us of scientist’s influence and expertise.
  • Snippet of scientist talking in a hyperbolic and incredibly nebulous way about an area of theory.
  • Scientist arriving at work outside a nondescript lab building.
  • Scientist talking with colleagues, shot from a distance so we can’t hear what they’re saying.
  • Scientist chalking something on a board that we can’t see.
  • Scientist trying to explain a complicated aspect of theory in 20 seconds.
  • Ponderous voice-over attempting to re-explain.
  • Low-budget computer graphics to illustrate a concept, created by an artist who doesn’t understand the concept himself.
  • A couple of different scientists, talking nebulously.
  • More people walking in a street.
  • Scientists walking around a lab.
  • Scientists having lunch.
  • Ponderous voice-over continues.
  • Snippet of scientist promising spectacular but undefined impact of success in their research.
  • Segue into logistics of research; no details, just assurance that it is expensive and difficult.
  • Footage of anonymous lab equipment.
  • Scientist trying to explain a complicated aspect of theory in 20 seconds, whilst wrestling with cheap, production-team supplied prop.
  • Various scientists talking vaguely about importance of undefined future research.
  • More natural world footage.
  • Ponderous voice-over concluding programme, discussing excitement and importance of science we have learnt nothing about.






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